Under the Glass Bell

With Knots I've Got Yet to Untie

So Wednesday I'm wandering through Target and the place is covered in Christmas decorations. Already! Remember when no one put up their Christmas stuff until after Thanksgiving. Oh, to have those days back.

Has anyone ever used one of those SAD lights? I've been using one for about a week and I have to say, I think it's working. I found myself getting down when the sun started to go down at 5:30ish and sure enough, it hasn't happened for the past few days. Am I nuts?

I have a ton of work to do this weekend, however, I absolutely must find some time to read the new Cary Tennis book. I absolutely adore Cary's writing. He's a was and sympathetic soul. It's going to be an enjoyable read.

I could really go for a huge pile of cookies right now.

Nothing like phoning it in on day two of the NaBloPoMo.

You, You Dress in Pink and Blue Just Like a Child

Cripes, my mouth still hurts. Go back to the oral surgeon tomorrow for a follow up. Bluh.

Hanukkah begins tomorrow at Sundown and I am really excited. Hanukkah was so special to me last year. I was incredibly pregnant and every night I would sit and knit and stare at the lit candles. So beautiful.

We're having a small party on Saturday night. I went shopping and bought gifts for the family and, of course, baby C tonight. I'm staying up now wrapping his gifts. I also bought new curtains for the living room. Feeling good about them. I actually think they are the exact curtains that Red Betty has in her living room! What was that about imitation being the highest form of flattery.

I've been saying it for months, but OH MY GAWD does our house need a good painting. I LOVE all of our new living room stuff, but the cream colored wall is just NOT cutting it anymore. The whole thing will feel much more pulled together once we get that done. So, I believe that will be our goal for January.

I felt panicked shopping this evening. There is something about walking out of a store with a huge cart of stuff that makes my heart race these days. And, it's not really about the money. It's more about consumption. We are a society of consumers. We consume to the point of being gluttonous. I keep thinking more and more about what I need in my life and what I don't. I'm starting to make an effort to pare back. And while I was buying gifts for others, plus the curtains and some new dishes for entertaining, just pushing a heaping cart around made me feel like a glutton.

This is also coming about because of the insane amount of toys available to buy BAby C. My family didn't have a lot of money when I was growing up. I have affluence now that I never imagined. And so my urge is to splurge on my baby boy. But it's starting to get to me. Just how many toys that coo and beep and roar does he need? I don't want to lead a life of gluttony. And I want to teach him the value of wanting something and working hard to get it. Not just indulging your every whim because you can.

He's eleven months old now and he's becoming more and more conscious every day. This is his first Hanukkah and while he certainly won't remember it or get much out of it, I want to do it by the book. I want to make the latkes and light the candles and tell the story of Hanukkah, the miracle of the oil, so that we plant a seed as a family. We do these rituals because we are Jewish and a family.

Thomas Jefferson Wasn't Born in Your Backyard

Teeth doing fine. Still doped up. Hydrocodone rules!

Lots of arguing today over how we are going to configure stereo componants in our new media center. Just what you don't want to be doped up for.

I do want to get back to something Jackie asked me about earlier in the week...closed doors. Don't you remember in your 20s when you really felt like you could do anything you wanted to? You could be a lawyer or an architect or an artist or marry a rock star. Not that there aren't plenty of things that I can still do with my life. But most likely, becoming an architect is closed off to me.

Ok, I'm probably way too doped up to address this because it sounds very simple and stupid. I'll come back to it when I'm in my right mind.

We were going to watch Amadeus tonight and I keep hearing "Rock Me, Amadeus" in my head.

If I were more able to focus, I'd be reading a book that I bought years ago called "Abigail and John" composed of the letters between them throughout their lives. Very touching and amusing stuff.

God, I can't think. Sorry, I'm out of here.