You, You Dress in Pink and Blue Just Like a Child

Cripes, my mouth still hurts. Go back to the oral surgeon tomorrow for a follow up. Bluh.

Hanukkah begins tomorrow at Sundown and I am really excited. Hanukkah was so special to me last year. I was incredibly pregnant and every night I would sit and knit and stare at the lit candles. So beautiful.

We're having a small party on Saturday night. I went shopping and bought gifts for the family and, of course, baby C tonight. I'm staying up now wrapping his gifts. I also bought new curtains for the living room. Feeling good about them. I actually think they are the exact curtains that Red Betty has in her living room! What was that about imitation being the highest form of flattery.

I've been saying it for months, but OH MY GAWD does our house need a good painting. I LOVE all of our new living room stuff, but the cream colored wall is just NOT cutting it anymore. The whole thing will feel much more pulled together once we get that done. So, I believe that will be our goal for January.

I felt panicked shopping this evening. There is something about walking out of a store with a huge cart of stuff that makes my heart race these days. And, it's not really about the money. It's more about consumption. We are a society of consumers. We consume to the point of being gluttonous. I keep thinking more and more about what I need in my life and what I don't. I'm starting to make an effort to pare back. And while I was buying gifts for others, plus the curtains and some new dishes for entertaining, just pushing a heaping cart around made me feel like a glutton.

This is also coming about because of the insane amount of toys available to buy BAby C. My family didn't have a lot of money when I was growing up. I have affluence now that I never imagined. And so my urge is to splurge on my baby boy. But it's starting to get to me. Just how many toys that coo and beep and roar does he need? I don't want to lead a life of gluttony. And I want to teach him the value of wanting something and working hard to get it. Not just indulging your every whim because you can.

He's eleven months old now and he's becoming more and more conscious every day. This is his first Hanukkah and while he certainly won't remember it or get much out of it, I want to do it by the book. I want to make the latkes and light the candles and tell the story of Hanukkah, the miracle of the oil, so that we plant a seed as a family. We do these rituals because we are Jewish and a family.

Comments

[Jackie]

I love your story and we all go through what you are feeling (and still do), but you are still new at the parenting thing and it is so exciting. As the years pass, and the kids grow and so does the stuff in you house, which we all hardly have any room for, you well start to down size (and as they get older the stuff "they want" becomes more costly. It will be ok, and when you are done having children donate the stuff to a good cause and that will help you feel (a little) better. When you're helping people out, it sure helps a lot!.

Robert helped caroling with the scouts yesterday to help a (poor)family they adopted for Christmas. They all donated girfts and the money they raised is enough to get the family's car repaired. I feel good he helped, (now I just have to be carefull he's learning a good thing, instead of something negative, which I won't addressed now). But I do believe its good, he even donated some of his own money, I was proud of him. Have to go, bye.